I heart chardonnay & Kumulala savesta REVIEW!

By ZOMBIEJACK69 (01/07/2024)


Today, i dont know which one, I have 2 bottles of wine from the extensive choice at the shop. For legal purposes i drank them outside of my room. The first bottle, i have less hope for than quitting drinking, purely by the name of it. "I heart Chardonnay" is its name and fucking hell may aswell drink piss, i dont even want to try this, however i thought for my first published review ill start on something disgusting. Moving on, the grape is from spain, and the year is not even on the bottle what a great start. It's described as bursting with pears apples and peach, doesnt sound awful however abit too many different flavours can often ruin a chardonnay. The smell is very weak, which makes sense because its a humble 10% alc, i dont drink this primarily of the percentage, and zach shut up about caring about the percentage is for year 7s i actually dont give a fuck and base all my purchases on it so whatever kuh. Moving on to my learned opinion: i coughed upon indulging, speaks for itself but ill go into more detail, definitely fruity and it goes down well which i appreciate, that is its only redeeming quality, it tastes more of slightly fruity water than a charddonay. Now for the most important part of the review!!! Its the price-alc percentage- taste review, its around 7 pounds here, its 10% and its tastes pretty wank, so ima give it a 2/10 there, fucking dreadful. Before i give the rating, its best to explain the scale, for the worst rating i named it piss, and for the best, goth girl piss. Now thats cleared up id give it like almost piss since its drinkable but just pretty awful. Im going to continue my review of this bottle after i have finished it for a post bottle opinion which can be found at the end of this. Mannnn it doesnt really go well w pot noodle my tummy going fjdiisown rn (right now).


Ima just down thus dragon soop rq (real quick, just using slang get over it liberals) may aswell review it actually. So its like alright, pretty sick tbf (to be fair) because its caffiene and alc so huge fucking win, its bluebery rasperrry flavour, tastes like im drinking straight vape fluid ( not good, for u health queens) but nevertheless im still gunna drink it. Also shoutout xellastone for setting me up w dragon sooooop.


Moving on after a quick break, wine reviewing is actually really straining. Onto the next wine which i have hope for Becuase its got a cool lizard or somthing on the front. Its called "kumala" which is probably named after kumalala from the world renouned kumalala sylvester, oh shiii it has the year on it this shit gunna be crazy, anyway it is a chardonnay from the western cape of south africa, year 2023 which is the same year as yellowtail chardonnay so im actually really excited. To continue, its described as rather dry which means drinkable, ripe and smooth with flavours of lemon and stone fruit. Doesnt even sound that bad chat. Its 11% alc so yeah pretty alright. Moving ONto the smell, the chardonnay grape is definitely coming through here along with the lemon, i dont really know what rocks smell like so yeah maybe it comes through, anyway i do like the smell a little bit. Onto the taste, honestly not awful, however its not great either, its really dropped below my expectations. Man i wasnt going to drink tonight but ive been let down so fuck it. Anyway it just tastes abit too sour, but its still drinkable yet watery but they come hand in hand (if thats the saying im really not sure). Yet again its time FOR the price-alc percentage- taste rating, the price is around 8 pounds, alc percentage is 11% and the taste is alright at a push, so id give it a 4.6/10 so yep disappointing asfuck. Anyway, overall rating is probably sort of piss but will do as one of the last resorts yk (you know). Yet again ill do a post bottle review so ill finish these bottles and come back to work.


Holy fuck dedicated readers carti is my bae. Whayey fuck anywya fuck anyway, psort nottles revuew: wellll they dirnksnsble so who fucking cares? Notnme rn thats for sure!!!!! Anyway Yeah i heart chardnojay is actuallt wak but now it not suay bad yk? And kumlala sylveter is prertyy alrightttt they gort me drunken sailirr like yk so whatever, point is be who u want to be and dont listen to the haters unless they kake valid health points ifykyk.

Zombiejack69 singing off for duty.gnome